Down the Barrel of a 45
by The Third Biker Scholar
Summary: (Complete) It was just another day at school for Kagome, until Eiji Sakamura brought something deadly. Now, no one will ever be the same...(not a songfic)
1. Default Chapter

I got this idea in my head and it would not leave me alone.  
  
I don't own Inuyasha.  
  
Chap: Hello, Eiji  
  
It was just an ordinary day.  
  
No demons. No jewel shards.  
  
Hell, it wasn't even in Feudal Japan.  
  
She was at school.  
  
Just plain ordinary junior high. In the middle of March, a cool, blustery day. Nothing was different or special about that day. (Besides the fact that she was actually there, that is.)  
  
To Kagome Higurashi, Tuesday was just that. A Tuesday spent at school. Just to catch up on mountains of homework, make-up tests, new exams to study for, boring teachers, bad cafeteria food, and lots of talking and catching up with her friends.  
  
It was just an ordinary day.  
  
But it didn't end that way.  
  
&&  
  
'They're all the same. Laughing at me, talking about me.  
  
(But not to my face. Never to my face, always behind my back.)  
  
Well, all that ends now. Let's see how much you laugh now!  
  
(Talk to me, not behind me, not about me. Talk to me.)  
  
They're all the same, they don't even really care about each other. They don't care about anything in their pretty little world.  
  
(Nobody cares about me. Nobody cares about anything I do, how good or how bad.)  
  
So what if I break something? So what if I kill something? Because that's all they are to each other, just little things. Little toys to play with.  
  
(I don't feel anymore. I haven't felt anything in so long, since anyone would talk to me.)  
  
I want to break some toys! Won't that be fun?  
  
(Talk to me.)  
  
It'll be so much fun to get rid of all these toys.  
  
(Talk to me!)  
  
Today's the day I bring my own little toy.'  
  
&&  
  
Eiji Sakamura wore a strange blank little smile that day. Not that anyone really noticed. He was just that kind of guy. Nobody really noticed him. It wasn't that he was weird. He wasn't. And he wasn't a dork or a geek, or anything like that. Just—  
  
Nobody noticed him.  
  
At home, his parents were too often gone. And when they were home, they were just like everyone else. They just didn't really notice him.  
  
Well, they did, in a parent way. But they just didn't seem very interested in him.  
  
So they really didn't notice.  
  
Just like everyone else.  
  
&&  
  
Kagome was smiling as she walked down the hall to her next class. She was with Eri, Yuka, and Ayume, just happy to be back here where everything was normal. Man was it ever a good feeling just to be normal.  
  
She glanced around in the crowded hall, smiling even more to see some more of her classmates. Then she saw some guy from her French class. He was rooting in his coat pocket for something—  
  
Eri finished her joke and Kagome laughed. Man, that must be some funny movie. She might have to go see it sometime. Maybe Inuyasha would like it. A small flash from the other side of the hall—  
  
What was that?  
  
That brief shine of---metal? From that guy from French class? What could he have that was---  
  
A gun. It barely had time to register in her brain. It was a---A very large hand gu---  
  
He moved.  
  
BLAM!!  
  
BLAM!! BLAM!!  
  
&&$$  
  
please review!! 


	2. Tears

You cannot imagine my surprise that I wasn't flamed out of existence for this one. And people actually requested more of it? Whoa. Well, here you go.  
  
I don't own Inuyasha, damn my luck.  
  
Chap: Tears  
  
The whole hallway became a screaming tunnel of noise. Many began to run to random rooms in terror as one of the hall lights was shot out, making shadows and panic. Students were slamming the doors in fright. Some froze like deer. Dozens were screaming. Even more had started to cry.  
  
Two students were lying on the floor, one girl crying, clutching her leg. The other girl, her friend, was ominously silent and still in an akward angle. A lot of what looked like thin red paint was coming from underneath her.  
  
Kagome was pressed back against the lockers, her friends cowering around her. They were all shaking and scared, tears pouring down Eri and Yuka's cheeks.  
  
Eiji had started to scream about everyone being someone else's toy.  
  
Ayume was shaking harder than the others. But she was looking straight at the door. The door not even four feet away from them, the door that was still open. A boy---Hojou!---he was trying to motion them in, trying to get them to move before they all were shot---  
  
Some students had managed to get up from where they'd fallen, some were crawling to doors, some were trying to run---  
  
BLAM!! BLAM!!  
  
BLAM!!!  
  
BLAM!!  
  
Eri screamed as the last bullet lodged dangerously close to her face, spraying her with loose stone and paint from the wall. She was still screaming as she finally managed to move close enough to the door, the last still open door. Hojou grabbed her arm, yanking her in.  
  
"C'mon! You have to get over here!!" he hissed as quietly as he could over the noise. If that guy noticed this----  
  
Ayume heard him. She heard and was trying to move while watching that guy, the one she had in Physics class---  
  
Eko? Jiro?  
  
He was still shouting, but now it was how everyone laughed about him, he just knew it---  
  
Eiji? Yeah that was it, Eiji—  
  
Yuka yanked her arm hard, pulling her into the room with Hojou and Eri, and others.  
  
But Kagome was still out in the hall, so far in shock she couldn't move.  
  
&%%  
  
She was frozen on one thought. This was her world. Her safe, modern world.  
  
Nothing bad was supposed to happen here. No wound that couldn't be healed. No disease that couldn't be cured.  
  
No crazy homicidal maniacs with guns were supposed to run around here.  
  
But they do. In the back of her head, she really knew that, she just never thought about it. And one was here now, right in front of her.  
  
He was raving now, screaming almost incoherently, but she noticed something. It didn't register at the time, but later on it would.  
  
He was crying.  
  
That boy from her French class---  
  
holding the gun and shooting it---  
  
he was----  
  
"Now you're all gonna die!!"  
  
The gun barrel shook wildly in his hand, weaving this way then the other. He was whirling around, trying to see where everyone was---  
  
He saw her. Frightened brown eyes locked with red-rimmed brown, leaking incredulous tears---  
  
The gun moved from pointing to the wall, to the lockers, to her---  
  
She vaguely heard some shout her name, "Higurashi!!---"  
  
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!!  
  
Kagome shut her eyes tight at the impact.  
  
But it wasn't from a bullet. Or even three bullets.  
  
She opened her eyes.  
  
That boy with the gun was still there, staring at her. And then he looked down her. To the other boy.  
  
The other boy that had stood in front of her, his back to the gun, taking two hits. The third bullet had embedded itself in the locker beside her head, shooting sparks and shrapnel toward both their faces.  
  
Hojou's face went slack in shock and pain. His entire body shook. Slowly, his knees gave out on him.  
  
Kagome stared, instinctively trying to catch him as he fell forward into her arms. Her shaking arms. Her legs buckled in terrified, unbelieving shock. "H-Hojou-kun?"  
  
He looked up at her. The dark shirt of his uniform was turning even darker from the blood soaking it in two places. He winced in pain as he spoke, "You're.....safe?"  
  
She could barely nod yes, even as one piece of flying metal had cut her cheek open, spilling some of her blood onto her face and shirt. Hojou closed his eyes, and she tried not to think of what was happening around her.  
  
The green collar of her uniform turned an ugly brown when mixed with all the red.  
  
The gun touched her forehead. She looked up as it pressed harder into her skin, into his eyes. Straight up the barrel of the gun.  
  
She could hardly think, breathe, blink---"You shot him."  
  
He faltered slightly, his stance near to stumbling. "So?"  
  
She brought her eyes back down to the---"he's dying."  
  
"Sh-shut up! He's just a toy---"  
  
Kagome was in a daze. "His little sister will be sad"---  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"His poor mother---"  
  
"Shut up!! Shutupshutupshutup!!"  
  
"She'll cry---"  
  
"SHUT UP!!! No, no, no one's gonna cry, no one cares, nobody, nobody....."  
  
"Someone cares," Kagome said. Her voice was barely a whisper, her eyes drifting off to the side. Was she even really talking? "Someone always cares, about death. Who lives and who dies, someone always cares----"  
  
BLAM!  
  
Another body fell to the floor.  
  
(&%&%$  
  
In regards to the people who informed me that personal weapons are illegal in Japan, I'll address that in the next chapter.  
  
And for those who'll worry---  
  
She's not dead.  
  
But she's never gonna be alright, either.  
  
Please review!! 


	3. coming home to you

Here's another chap of .45. Hope it stands to par.  
  
Chap: coming home to you  
  
Inuyasha paced in the living room of Kagome's house. "Dammit, isn't that school over yet?!"  
  
"Inuyasha, your language," Mrs. Higurashi warned. He had come through the well half and hour earlier to come get Kagome. The lady of the house had eagerly welcomed him, interrupting her laundry. She had been sitting in front of the tv watching the news when he'd arrived.  
  
The hanyou ducked his head in reflex. Kagome and her mom sounded a lot alike sometimes. He was pretty sure that one day Mrs. H would try sitting him and somehow it would work. He shook his head before asking, "So, how much longer will she be? We've got shards to find."  
  
"She should be along any minute now. Hmm," the mother frowned in thought. "Actually, she should be home by now----"  
  
"----_school shooting at Suirinken Junior High School today. We come to you live from the school with our correspondent_---"  
  
Inuyasha was stunned to see the blood drain out of Mrs. H's face as she whirled to face the talking box. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Th-That's—"-she stammered. She seemed to be trying to shake her head, to deny something, that image on the screen---"Kagome's school."  
  
"What's a—"  
  
"A shooting is where"—she lost her train of thought, watching the television screen as several stretchers were wheeled out of the school's front doors---"oh, gods."  
  
"What? What is it? What's happening?!"  
  
"Its—its—oh gods!!" She shouted as two of the stretchers came out the doors, completely covered.  
  
"What?!" He shouted, scared by the way the woman was acting. He grabbed her by the arms, shaking her. "What's going on?!"  
  
"A—a shooting is when someone comes into a building and uses a gun on the people in there." He knew what a gun was, Kagome had told him about them and showed him one on TV. She'd also told him what they could do to a human body. "They hurt people and sometimes kill them. Those bags the men are carrying," she pointed to the screen, finger shaking, "are for the dead."  
  
Inuyasha froze, staring at the screen, processing all this—"At her school?"  
  
"Yes," she said woodenly.  
  
"Two people are dead?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Kagome's late?" He asked as if to confirm what he already knew.  
  
This time it came out as a disbelieving whisper. "Yes."  
  
He was out the door like a shot.  
  
%%$$##  
  
He slammed on the brakes as soon as the shrine's steps came into view.  
  
Kagome was coming up the stairs. He could see the top of her head, her black hair softly blowing back from her face. Blowing her scent away from him, so he couldn't sniff out her injuries. More of her came into view as she slowly rose from the steps. A white bandage stained red in the center was on her left cheek. But what really made his heart pound, then almost stop altogether---  
  
Her shirt, the white blouse with the green collar and red ribbon, and her skirt, ruffled green cotton, both were soaked. Even her socks were wet and stained, matching the thin red stuff that had dripped down her legs, into her shoes. Her clothes were soaked in awful red, slowly drying to a dull stiff brown---  
  
"KAGOME!!! Are you alright?!" He shouted, leaping towards her. She barely reacted to his presence, just stopping where she stood. Her eyes were staring at the ground where her feet were, not really paying attention. He lifted her chin up to see her eyes, startled by what he saw there. They were empty. Dazed and hollow. Oh, gods, why hadn't he dragged her back sooner----  
  
His hands ghosted over her as he sniffed her clothes, checking for the source of blood. Gods, he hated the smell of blood---  
  
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. Most of it wasn't hers. But some of it was. Enough to still worry him damn near to panic mode. She made no sound as he scooped her up into his arms, running back to the house. He slammed the door open and hollered for Mrs. H before laying her down on the couch in the living room.  
  
She came running from the kitchen, then right back in again after one look at her daughter. She brought out the first aid kit as Inuyasha finger- combed the hair out of Kagome's face, to try and rouse her.  
  
"Kagome? Kagome, can you hear me?"  
  
"She's in shock, Inuyasha," her mother said hurriedly. "Can you tell if she's injured?"  
  
"Most of the blood ain't hers, but some of it is. State she's in, wouldn't react to somethin' if it did hurt," he said worriedly. He asked the question that was on both their minds. "Where the hell'd all this blood come from?"  
  
He received no reply as her mother unbuttoned her shirt. Inuyasha blushed red, "Um, maybe I should"—  
  
"Go and get me a towel from the bathroom upstairs, and a couple of cloths from under the sink there," she ordered. She saw him still standing there beside her blushing, "NOW, INUYASHA!!"  
  
He sprinted to do as he was told.  
  
The mother anxiously examined her daughter. The girl's color was pale, her skin cold. Her eyes were still open and dazed. '_She's probably been on autopilot on the way home,' the woman thought to herself. 'It's a miracle she got home alright.'  
_  
She stripped her child of her blouse, throwing it on the wooden floor. No other injuries marred the girl, except for the huge amount of blood that had soaked her skin. The woman carefully looked her over for any other injury as Inuyasha came back downstairs, clothes in hand. He flushed again at Kagome being almost naked in front of him, but handed the things to her mother.  
  
"Thank you, Inuyasha," the lady said distractedly. She started to wipe away some of the blood from the girl before glancing at the clock. "Oh, no."  
  
"What is it?" he started, his voice worried. "Is she hurt?"  
  
"No, no, she's fine, just in deep shock. Some sleep will cure that, its just that Souta's school will be letting out soon. He'll have heard about what happened on the bus and come running here. Can you keep him distracted while I take care of her?"  
  
"Uh, sure thing. Want me to go get the kid and bring him here?"  
  
The woman looked up from where her daughter lay, Inuyasha just now seeing the tears that were silently rolling down her face. "Yes, please. I'd feel better knowing that he had you to protect him on the way home." The boy almost smiled in the pride that sentence gave him before going out after the boy.  
  
(&%&$  
  
Mrs. H had roused Kagome enough to get her upstairs and in the bath before the boys got back. Souta hadn't heard anything yet about what happened, so Inuyasha filled him in. The boy's reaction startled Inuyasha. He completely freaked out. "Oh, no!! What happened!? How many were hurt?! Was anybody killed?! Oh, gods, where's Kagome?! Is she okay?! Is she alright?!"  
  
"Gah, brat, quit screamin' in my ears! She'd just got some cut on her cheek, but she's home and fine. Hell, kid, you honestly think I'd leave her if she was hurt?"  
  
Souta sagged against the older boy's shoulder as they jumped through the skyline of Tokyo. "Oh, thank the gods. Thank the gods."  
  
"Kid? Not to be an insensitive prick," (a phrase Kagome had used to describe him often enough as for him to understand its use), "but she sees death and guts all the time. Why's this so bad? What's a shooting so bad for?"  
  
Souta started before the thought came that in Inuyasha'a world, death was far more common. Especially bloody deaths. "Well, a shooting isn't all that uncommon, really. What makes this so bad is that it was in a school. Everybody's kids are there. You send them there cuz it's a safe place to go learn. And then one of those kids goes and takes a gun to school, killing people that he's known for years."  
  
"Why would he go and do that?"  
  
"They just snap, I guess," the boy said. "School's hard on lots of people. Some just can't take the pressure and go nuts."  
  
Inuyasha frowned. "You mean with all those tests and stuff?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
'_note to self (another phrase Kagome taught him): in future, don't bug Kagome about studying for tests anymore.'  
_  
"They say nobody's the same after something like this," Souta said quietly. Inuyasha could smell the tears beginning in his eyes. "When somebody breaks trust like that, it shakes everything you've ever thought about people. It'd scare me to pieces. (sniff)"  
  
(&$%#)  
  
please let me know what you think and review!!! 


	4. Hojou's last request

For all you guys who worried about Kagome, here you go. Like I said, she's not dead, but she's never going to be the same.  
  
I don't own Inuyasha  
  
Chap: Hojou's last request  
  
Later that day, night, actually, Inuyasha sat in his branch of the tree, watching over Kagome. She had yet to say one word to anyone. All of them were worried sick about her, but no one really knew what to do. Grandpa was currently in the shrine, saying prayers for the dead. Mama was downstairs in the basement, looking for another one of her daughter's uniforms. The one she'd worn today was beyond saving. Souta was with his mother, taking comfort in her prescense.  
  
Kagome was in her room, sitting curled on her bed. Her back was to the head board, and her head rested on her knees. After the bath her mother had given her, she'd changed into some clothes her mom called pajamas. Then she'd walked woodenly to her room, locked the door, and simply sat there.  
  
She'd been like this for a couple of days now. He'd tried to come and talk to her before, but the window had been shut, with the curtains drawn. Their own little signal that she was either still mad at him, or didn't want to talk, or was studying, usually. But now it just cut him off from her totally, and he could barely stand it.  
  
He'd even tried coming through the door of her room, but her mother hadn't let him. She'd just given him a sad and worried look, and told him to be patient. Kagome would talk when she was ready to. He'd just nodded and gone back to watching from his branch of the Goshinboku.  
  
Inuyasha was more worried about her silence than anything else. She wasn't crying at all. Anytime something like this happened in the past, when they walked through villages that were attacked by demons or raided by armies, he knew where she'd be later on. When the group would make camp, after bathing or making dinner, and everyone would be asleep, Kagome would get up from her sleeping bag. He would follow her every time. Always, she'd try and find a place where the others wouldn't hear her, and speak prayers for the dead. And always, she'd cry for them. Her tears always fell for those who'd died. And he would watch over her, helping her find her way back in the dark, never saying a word about her ritual.  
  
Yet now, her eyes were dry. And that awful, almost heart-broken look, had yet to leave her face. The hanyou had no idea what to make of it. Should he try to talk to her? But what the hell could he say? Without sounding like an insensitive prick, of course. Otherwise he'd be responsible for the Inuyasha-shaped hole in the floor of her room.  
  
From what Souta had said, this shooting thing was all about a break in trust. So Kagome had been betrayed. That much he could understand. Someone you thought you knew and trusted, trying to kill you, ah, he was all too familiar with that. But her reaction still puzzled him. If something like that had happened, Kagome would be trying to make it right, to understand why they would do a thing like that. This seemed like something else, at least to him.  
  
Sudden movement had his ears pricking up. Kagome had gotten up, and was opening the window. She simply leaned out it, looking up at him. He nodded. She backed up, going back on the bed, as he leaped out and onto the window-ledge. Slowly, he stepped into her room, almost afraid to make any sudden motion. She looked like a deer about to run, even though she was sitting still.  
  
"You can come here, if you want."  
  
He nodded, mentally wincing at her voice. It was so hoarse and raspy. "Want me to get you a drink of water?"  
  
She shook her head no. Inuyasha mentally winced at the sight of her. She looked very pale, and even thought her mother had been pleading with her to eat something, she'd had no appetite. It showed in her face. The girl looked haggard, like she'd had either no sleep, or too many nightmares.  
  
He came over and sat to the side of her, completely at a loss as to what to say. But when Kagome started to speak, he wished he had thought of anything other than what they were about to talk about.  
  
"Hojou's dead."  
  
He started, then frowned in slight confusion. "Who? Oh, you mean that guy that keeps bringing you stuff, the wu—oh. Killed by the shooter?"  
  
"By Eiji. I had a class with him. He sat two seats behind me."  
  
Inuyasha glared into space, picturing this Eiji guy anywhere near Kagome. "Fucking—"  
  
"He was just firing randomly." He stopped at her blank tone. "He hit Mitsu and Tomo, but he didn't even notice. He just kept shooting. And then he looked at me." Kagome shivered. "He looked at me, and I know he didn't even really see me, didn't see a person there at all. He just kept shooting at part of the wall."  
  
"Kagome"---he stopped. What could he say? To randomly destroy life and not care, that sounded too much like his demon half.  
  
"Hojou saved me."  
  
"Saved you? How?"  
  
"He jumped in front of me. He took the bullets meant for me."  
  
Inuyasha mentally nominated Hojou for sainthood.  
  
"I don't think Eiji expected that. He stopped shooting and looked at me. And I told him that Hojou's mom would be so sad that her son was killed. He kept screaming that nobody would care about that, so I told him about Hojou's sister, and how she'd be sad too. That when he pointed the gun right at my head." She pointed to her forehead. "He told me to shut up, so I kept talking."  
  
Inuyasha was breathing hard, near to shaking. Kagome was driving home the point that she had almost been killed. And he hadn't been there to protect her.  
  
"I told him that no matter what, someone always cares, about who lives and dies, someone would always be sad. And then he pointed the gun at his own head and shot himself." She paused, taking short breaths to try and keep talking. A part of her knew that she had to get it out, all of it, now, or some part of her would be eaten away by this. "I should probably ask Miroku to say a prayer for his soul."  
  
"Kagome...."  
  
She went on, a tear trickling down her face. "Hojou, he was still in my arms. He'd fallen, so I tried to catch him, and then I saw all this blood." She clenched her eyes shut. "I tried to help him, slow the bleeding, but nothing worked Inuyasha, I tried and I still couldn't"---  
  
Inuyasha scooted over to take hold of her shoulders, lifting her chin to look him in the eyes. "You tried, and since I know you, if nothing worked, then there was nothing you could have done. You probably comforted him. I'll bet you made him happy, being there with him."  
  
She shook her head. "No, I didn't."  
  
"Oi. Don't sell yourself short, you always make me feel better when I'm"---  
  
"I was hurting him."  
  
Inuyasha frowned in confusion. "What?"  
  
"I was trying to stop the bleeding, and he looked up at me. He asked me not to cry, and I tried not to. Then he got this sad look on his face." She looked him in the eyes. "He asked me who I loved. I asked why he asked. And he said"—(gasp)—"said that even though—he was in my arms right now, I was thinking of someone else." More tears had begun to fall, her breath coming in hiccups. Inuyasha reacted without thinking and pulled her into his arms, anything to make her stop crying.  
  
"And the worse part is, he was right! I _was_ thinking of someone else!"  
  
"Kagome," Inuyasha said, at a loss. He had no idea what to say.  
  
"I was thinking of you."  
  
He froze, then pulled back to look at her. "What?"  
  
"I was thinking of you, how I'd almost never got to see you again, and what I would tell you when I saw you. I was thinking of your face and your smile, and trying to keep from crying by thinking about you, and he knew it. I think he could see it in my face, that even though he'd died for me, I was thinking about another guy, right then.  
  
"He said, oh, gods, he was coughing when he said it, he was choking on his own blood. He said that you always think of the one you love when you need them the most. And he wished"—(sob, gasp)—"he wished for me to be happy with the man I loved. And then he died! Oh, gods, Inuyasha!" She finally let go of all her tears, pulling herself further into the arms of the man she loved.  
  
(&&%&$  
  
please review


	5. Visitation

Been a while, been busy.

Me no own inu, WWWAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Chap: visitation

The sun shone brightly down on the rows of engraved stone, making the place a bit more cheerful. A lone girl was walking slowly down the aisles, a small bag slung over her shoulder. She was dressed in a long black skirt with a matching blouse, and didn't seem to mind the chill air around her.

This was the first time she had come to see him.

There it was, a stone decorated with ribbons and old flowers, pictures and offerings. She'd found Hojou-kun.

Kagome walked forward, her steps almost hesitant. Stopping, she went down on her knees before the grave, pulling a bouquet of flowers from her bag and placing them beside all the others.

She tried to smile without crying. "Hello, Hojou-kun." She paused, looking a bit bewildered. "You know, I have no idea what to say. I just don't know what I should say, after everything that happened.

"I......had no idea, that you felt that strongly about me. A part of me knows that you would have done it for anybody; it's just the kind of person you are. Your heart is so big, especially after all those times you kept forgiving me for ditching you or breaking the date"—her voice broke on the last word, tears coming. "Why? Why did I have to think of him? I didn't mean to hurt you! I didn't, and I'm so sorry, (sob)!"

A warm hand fell on her shoulder. "I was wondering when you'd come."

The girl whirled to face the voice and paled. "Mrs. Hojou! I—I"— what could she say? _'Hi, I'm the person your son died for?'_

"Hello, Higurashi-san." The woman knelt down beside her. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Huh?"

"I heard from my son that you suffer from a chronic illness. Are you feeling better today?"

The girl tried to smile ruefully. "Right now, I feel—like the lowest form of life on this earth."

The older woman looked at her, very little expression on her face. "Why?"

"Your son, you know what he did?"

"How he died? Yes, I know. He was protecting a dear friend from harm. You have nothing to feel bad for." Mrs. Hojou looked off into the distance, clearly remembering something about her son, before saying, "I'm so angry right now."

"What?"

"I-I feel as if I'll fly apart any minute now with rage. I've never hated anyone the way I hate Sakamura Eiji right now! But he's dead and I can't say anything to him now that would make any difference." She turned to face the young woman. "I understand that you said something to him before he killed himself. But no one was in the hall to hear it clearly. Will you tell me, what you said to him? The police told me that after you talked to him, is when he committed suicide. What did you say?"

Kagome took a few breaths, trying to push back the sick feelings produced by remembering that terrible day. "I—after he shot Hojou-kun, he kept looking blank. Then he looked right at me. And he started to crack. Not 'go crazy'-crack, but to turn back into a human being, breaking out of that shell. He looked scared and stunned and horrified. He was even crying.

"I told him that you," she nodded towards the woman, "would be sad that your son was dead. That his sister would be sad to loose her big brother, and he started screaming and crying that no one would miss anyone because nobody mattered or felt anything at all. Then I told him that good or bad, if someone dies, someone, somewhere, will always care that they lived or died."

She paused.

"Why on earth would he think such an awful thing? Sakamura, I mean. Why would he think that no one felt anything?"

"I don't know," Mrs. Hojou replied. "I can't imagine how anyone could think such a thing. I met his parents at the funeral. They couldn't' bear to look me in the eyes, but I knew. They were crying for their own son too, that they had lost something precious to them too. I—dammit, I wanted to hate them. I wanted them to be monsters, to have driven that boy to this, anything! Just not this damned empty feeling."

"Anything to make sense of this, huh?"

The woman nodded sadly. "Any sort of rhyme or reason to this insanity. Afterwards, they came up to me. I didn't know what to say to them, or they to me. I think they wanted to apologize, but that would have seemed meaningless, I guess. We just looked at each other, then said goodbye." She laughed to herself. "I found myself wanting to run after them and comfort them. Comfort them! Or, maybe, we could have comforted each other. Both of us had lost our only sons."

The woman paused, collecting herself. "I've once heard it said that the noblest way to die is by protecting something you love. That helps lessen some of the pain. My son died doing what he knew was right." She too, started to cry, the tears dripping onto her gloved hands. "I'm proud that he—was such a good boy. I'm so proud, but oh, why did he have to die?!"

Kagome and Mrs. Hojou reached out and held each other, crying for the fate of a young man.

(&

Inuyasha looked down on them from his perch in a nearby tree. So this was Hojou's mother. She was quite pretty. She was also so damned sad. Both of them were. He wanted to say something, do something, but nothing came to his mind that seemed right. Gods, he hated not being able to do anything. He couldn't even get revenge for their pain; the bastard had already taken care of that himself.

He resolved to just watch and make sure nothing happened to them. What else could he do?

(&

What felt like hours later, their tears finally stopped. They simultaneously started digging for tissues in their purses, caught the other doing so, and for the first time in over a week laughed. It was just a little chuckle, but it was a start.

They could heal from this, if they tried. It would take so, so long, but it could be done.

They both stood to leave. Mrs. Hojou turned to go, but remembered something. "Higurashi-san?"

"Yes?"

"What did my son say to you?"

Kagome knew exactly what she meant, and didn't try to dodge it. "He told me to be happy with the man I loved." She raised panicked eyes to the mother, "I swear, I wasn't stringing him along, I really did try to break it off with him, but I just couldn't get him to listen"—

"It's alright. I think a part of him knew, but he still wanted to keep trying. Don't worry, I'm not angry with you." She smiled slightly. "Goodbye, Higurashi-san. Lets meet here again sometime, yes?"

Kagome gave her a ghost of smile back. "I would like that." She watched as the woman walked out of the cemetery's

gates.

(&

Please review. End it here?


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